10 - 01×14 – That Damn Donna Reed. “Rory: No, I’m serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain. Lorelai: Your brain pinged? Rory: Yeah. It just went like ‘dink’. Lorelai: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn’t ping. Rory: Well I hardly think a dinking brain is better than a pinging brain.”
09 – 03×19 – Keg! Max!. “Lorelai: Okay, I didn’t bring a frickin’ tape measure. I’m not good at judging distances. You’ll have to help me out with the ten feet thing. Max: Well, it’s a little bigger than a basketball player. Just keep a really big basketball player between us. Lorelai: Wow, I bet there’s a sentence that’s never been uttered before”
08 – 03×17 – A Tale of Poes and Fire. “Luke: Well, he didn’t even tell me about it. I got a letter addressed to the family of Jess Mariano inviting me down to some little ceremony they’re having. Lorelai: Are you going? Luke: Oh, he’d hate it if I was there. You know, seeing him participating in some corporate ceremony like that, being called upstanding and responsible, it would kill him. Yeah, I’m going. Lorelai: Good boy.”
07 – 01×02 – The Lorelais’ First Day at Chilton. “Rory: Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut? Lorelai: Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it. Rory: Wow, biblical insults. This is an advanced school.”
06 – 02×19 – Teach Me Tonight. “Lorelai: I hate crossword puzzles. They make me feel stupid. Rory: Then don’t do ‘em. Lorelai: Well, but if you don’t do them, you’re not only stupid, you’re also a coward.”
05 – 03×13 – Dear Emily and Richard. “Lorelai: It’s from my mother. Rory: What is it? Lorelai: It’s heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me. Rory: I thought she discarded those years ago.”
04 – 03×22 – Those Are Strings, Pinocchio. “My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don’t know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her…”
03 – 01×08 – Love and War and Snow. “Michel: Not everyone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing. Lorelai: I know, and how sad for them. Michel: The thrilling sensation of getting lost in a blizzard, of freezing to death in the woods and having to eat your friend’s buttocks to stay alive. That is lost on many people.”
02 – 02×10 – The Bracebridge Dinner. “Rory: Because, Paris wants the first issue back to be a double issue, so we have to prep over break, and… she says the news never sleeps. Lorelai: What about Paris? Does she ever sleep? Rory: I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down.”
01 – 03×07 – They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They?. “Rory: Kirk has very little in his life. He has no career, no girlfriend, no pet, no car. He lives with his mother, she won’t even let him have his own key. The only thing he does have in his whole lonely pathetic existence is this marathon. If we win, if we take him down, if we take away that last little piece of dignity, then we leave him with nothing. Lorelai: I wonder if he’ll cry. Rory: My mother, the Howard Roark of Stars Hollow.”