Monthly Archives: April 2010

– 50 years to the day from the original Kubrick version of Spartacus comes Spartacus: Blood and Sand, a 300 style version of the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. Whilst lacking Kubrick‘s vision – the depth of the story or the complexity of the characters, this saga is produced by Starz, pay-for-cable, thus while superficial, we receive excessive blood, demented Tarantino-esque violence, gratuitous nudity and depraved eroticism, all in a (mostly) well-researched and perfectly restored Ancient Rome. You don’t get the same bang for the buck as say Rome, but, to be honest, when do you? If you’re willing to let yourself be entertained by decent stories, ok twists, good acting and a beautiful Rome, are willing to overlook extreme violence in extreme slow motion and daily orgies, this is for you – and if you’re still on the fence, think of it as a combination of Caligula and The Gladiator, and if you don’t care for either, this isn’t for you.

– Tried to watch Fear Itself. Pure and unfailing garbage that revels in its atrocious writing, nauseating acting, dreadful directing and, last but not least, excessive misuse of horror staples in the worst ways possible. I couldn’t even manage to finish the last episode. Unabashed filth. Compared to this rubbish, Masters of Horror starts to look like a <1990 John Carpenter masterpiece.

– FYI: I’m fighting the urge to rewatch the entire 15 seasons of ER with everything I have. I miss the whole bloody mess – loveable Mark, douchy Doug, adorable Susan, ridiculously young Carter and, most of all, bitchy Kerry and hellish Romano. Even the next generation – Abby, Neela, Morris etc, them too.

– Your favorite book sucks: one-star Amazon reviews of the classics. “It is because of this horrid book that I eat sausage every morning and tell my dad to kill every spider I see”.

– Alabama senior one of 18 students punished for violating prom dress code. She chose suspension. The other 17? “Spank me, Mr. Principal.” Giggity.

– Two dozen naked women march in Portland, Maine. Organizer “enraged” that a thousand men showed up to ogle and cheer.

– Lottery winner dies after blowing 9 million pounds on drink, racehorses and football.

– Wil Wheaton divides by Wil Wheaton.