I Get A Sidekick Out Of You

- Uh… Lane, I have something very upsetting to talk to you about.
- Oh, what?
- It concerns the wedding night.
- Oh, boy.
- Yes, “oh, boy.”
- Marriage is a job, Lane. There are rewards that come with this job, but there are also sacrifices. There are things you’re going to have to do. Things. Terrible things.
- Mama, you don’t have to –
- You need to hear this. You need to know what to expect. It will start early.
- What will?
- The man’s expectations. It starts early — at the wedding, actually. At the wedding, you’re going to have to kiss him. You will then be expected to share a bed tonight, and when you’re in that bed, you’re expected to –
- Mama, please.
- You’re going to have to do it with this boy, Lane. You’re just going to have to do it. Hopefully, if you’re lucky like me, you’ll only have to do it once.